my own little place to be free…

Well, I’m here today with some good news. After much consideration, I’ve decided that jkchase(dot)net is going to be staying open!

There are going to be some changes going on at some point in the near future - I want this website to be more than just a blog, but for what, I don’t know yet. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

But for those of you who want to come along for the ride and see, then I thank you for being here.

Cheers!

Welcome to 2010! Sorry I’m a little late on the “Happy New Year”. I’m also equally sorry that I never made it in time for the “Happy Christmas” too! Hard to believe that I’ve been off school for two weeks, but yet still never found any time to post anything. The reason? Work mostly, but I’ve also been trying to enjoy the holidays as much as I can before I have to go back to school on Monday.

Today is January 2nd, 2010. It’s 5:43 am. We are officially into our second day of the new century, and I’m already hoping this century (hell, even this year) will be better than the last. I’m 20-years-old, and I think I finally have some basic concept of where my life is heading.

So, to start 2010 off with a BANG, here’s my list (so far) of New Year’s Resolutions (most of which probably won’t happen!):

• lose weight (this is on the list every year, but this is the year I’m determined to make it happen)
• move out, and experience more of life (this is happening within the next month or so!!!)
• find a job that I can hopefully someday call career (that is not at a fast food joint or call centre)
• finally find true love (this is always ongoing, but hey, a guy can dream)

That’s pretty much what I’ve got so far. Wait… WHOOPS! I forgot one!

• either find a better use for having a website, or start posting on it more as it is!

This is one that definitely has to start happening. I mean, what’s the point to me even having a website if I’m only going to use it once or twice a month. It’s not like I care whether or not people read anything I write here. The point behind this website is for me to express myself, but why should I have it if I never do that? So part of my 2010 Resolutions is to start using jkchase(dot)net more!

Now, onto some real-life stuff…

Over the course of the last three weeks, I’ve told someone how I’ve felt about them, got over it pretty quickly when they didn’t feel the same (it happens to me so much that my feelings never linger anymore…), and I even decided to give up on love. Well, this person decided that my decision to give up on love was all about making them feel guilty. A huge argument then followed, and I haven’t spoken to her since December 23rd. Honestly, I’m not even all that worried about it. I just don’t really care anymore. And that’s all I really have to say on that matter. Like I said, my feelings don’t tend to linger for that long anymore.

Not too much else has happened, really. There was some work drama that resulted in my managing privileges of running shifts being taken away, but that’s only less stress off my mind really. It doesn’t bother me much.

My biggest piss-off right now is with my credit card company, who have an option to change my address online that doesn’t work, and when you message customer service online, they don’t message back - not even a week later! So I might be calling them at the first of the week to give them a piece of my mind!

Hmm. That’s pretty much all that’s been happening. Oh, I love Lights! If you’ve never listened to her before, do so now please! Cheers!

Well, it looks like I definitely have a difficult choice to make between now and the end of January. Do I want to keep this website going, or should I call it quits?

Don’t get me wrong, I love having my own site, a place where I can vent and say whatever I want, but I hardly ever update anymore. I’m always too busy between work and school and trying to have something of a social life that I never get the time to post.

So between now and January 31st, I must decide if jkchase(dot)net lives, or dies…

I like to consider writing to be an important part of my life, but sometimes even writers don’t know what to say. Sometimes I find it easier to use song lyrics to say what I’m thinking. This is one of those times.

Now, I know I’ve posted these lyrics on this blog before (two years ago, I believe), but this time, they’re for someone entirely different, who doesn’t even know how I feel about them, and probably won’t ever know…

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

I don’t need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe

I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for St. Nick
I won’t even stay awake
To hear those magic reindeer click

Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding onto me so tight
What more can I do
Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of childrens’
Laughter fills the air

And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won’t you bring me
The one I really need
Won’t you please bring my baby to me, quickly

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just wanna see my baby
Standing right outside my door

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you

All I want for Christmas is you, baby

It seems that I was right about one thing I said in my last entry: that it probably wouldn’t happen with either of the girls I mentioned.

Well, I was bang on about one of them, at least. I finally worked up the courage to be honest and outright with one of them about how I feel, and, as predicted, they don’t feel the same. And now, things are weird between us. Like, to the point that we’ve barely spoken since I confessed how I feel.

Just great!

So, as to not make matters worse, I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut about the second because I don’t want to take the chance again only to be told that they too don’t feel the same.

And that’s that for that subject.

On the plus side of life, I recently received my first report card in school, and it turns out that I’m doing better than I had originally thought. I scored to 88’s, one 90 and one 95 in my four classes. That’s exceptionally good and I’m very please with these marks. Now, the main thing is to just keep my socks up and make sure my marks stay that high. Which probably wouldn’t be a problem… if I could sleep that is. I worked backshift on Saturday night, and slept mostly all day Sunday, so now it’s three thirty in the morning and I have to be up in four hours to go to school. I’m so doomed!

Yet again on the good side of things, however, tonight I discovered something wonderful. My favourite band, Nightwish, released a biography a few years ago, and I have found in completely impossible to get my hands on a copy without having to pay an arm and a leg. By chance tonight, I came upon a website that not only allowed me to order the book for $30 with free shipping, but it also included an excerpt from the book. Having read that excerpt, I’m quite excited for my book to arrive, especially since I’ve wanted it for years!

There we go! Now that I got the negative thing that’s been bugging me out of my system, as well as throwing in some positive things, hopefully now I’ll be able to settle down and get some bloody sleep!